FEAR OF LOVE.. ( Philophobia )

After various heart pains, love sick… i tried so hard not to fall into that system of not thinking with my heart  but with the head. I was not going to allow anyone hurt me or play with my feelings anymore!

 It was an exceptional journey but finally i made it.. Well, with not so good results..

I  never knew I was slowly running away from love, the love i always wished and cherished. Now i suffer from  Philophobia or love phobia


For many people, love is like a boon granted to human beings. We all dream of falling in love and wish to be loved in return. Yet, some people think of love as something they must avoid. The prospect of falling in love makes these people feel nervous and anxious. This is what we called philophobia.

Philophobia (from Greek: filos, meaning “beloved” or “loving”, and phobos, meaning “fear”) is the state of someone being irrationally afraid of falling in love. People with philophobia tend to avoid the chances to get attached with someone and deny any special feelings they feel for a certain someone.

The possibility of falling in love and building a relationship may get philophobic people uneasy, nauseous, perspire, panic, and breathless. These problems will keep them away from relationship. If there is no further action to overcome this phobia, philophobic people may prefer to be single for the rest of their life.

Causes of Philophobia
A traumatic experience in the past is usually the major cause of philophobia. Failure in maintaining one relationship may cause people afraid to start another one, especially when they have maintained the relationship carefully with a very deep emotional feeling.

Some other philophobic people get their fear from hearing someone’s tragic love experience, be it their family members or friends. This kind of experience makes people retreat whenever love approach. They can’t stand the idea of having a deep emotional feeling with someone because they keep thinking of the worst situation that may happen if they fall in love.

Symptoms of Philophobia
People with philophobia will avoid as far as they can the chance to fall in love or have a relationship. They also feel uneasy and nervous as well as feel like running away when they think that they are exposed to love. In more extreme cases, people with philophobia may be sweaty, tremble, nauseous, numb, breathless, even feel like fainted at the prospect of falling in love.

Generally, philophobic people also avoid watching romantic movies or keep away from certain places where couples usually gather. Attending wedding ceremony will be a kind of torture to people with philophobia. If this continues, philophobia will be a drawback to people’s social life.

Treatment for Philophobia
Treatment to cure philophobia can be done through counseling, hypnotherapy, or psychotherapy with the help of some professionals. Treatment called cognitive-behavior therapy are known as the most popular and effective treatment to cure many kinds of phobias including philophobia.

Medication can also be taken, but it is not suggested since medicine does not really cure the phobia but only suppress it for a short time. It is probably better to dig the source of the problem causing someone’s philophobia, and cure it step by step than prescribe certain medicines and consume in routine.


4 thoughts on “FEAR OF LOVE.. ( Philophobia )

  1. Very educational writeup Maureen. I hope you can overcome the symptoms and experience love once again. You’re a loving person in general so perhaps that perfectly deserving one for you is out there somewhere waiting for an amazing lady to enter his life.

    • My dearest friend Scott, maybe I should just not write or think about it, maybe. If there is someone out there feeling like me, I wish that person well. How do I write on something I’m not to sure of facing it????!!!!

  2. Wonderful post.
    It is all a matter of finding the right people to love,
    finding the ones that will not abuse our love,
    of rising in love,
    when it happens it is ordinary, not like in the movies 🙂
    and it takes great courage for the sexual side can be a minefield!
    Start with friends I say, no sex! When we have the support systems
    in place, we become strong enough to practise the same feelings
    and mechanisms with that special person.

    • Oh wow Nx, thanks for your comment, You made a very nice point right there! I actually do start most of my relationships as friends. Humans are so complex, at the same time so unique, what is perfect for A must not be perfect for B. Amazing. ‘thanks so much. Bless your heart.

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