Saturday 27th 3am

3am..
Today I felt death so near… I was so sure that death was there to take me.
So I was going through a moment, about to go to the astral world..waiting for that special moment to take place..
Seems like I am set for my journey this time .as everything around me felt so different.
I felt like my blood was being drained out of me, gasping for air but with no big struggles. 
Why do I feel like,  it is my time to go…?
…laying there confused  waiting for my spirit to decide on leaving my body completely. Silence took over for a while as I lay there with my eyes half closed wondering what that was… I’m I dead?

….. So i wrote a note to my brother Mark to see if he will respond, that will confirm that, I’m still here on earth and alive. Yes he did!!!!

By the way, do you know, death is actually birth!

28th of July 2000 right after the birth of my son, I left on a short journey in the astral world, or the spiritual world. I thought my life on earth was nearly finished.. I found myself in a tunel, walking effortlessly towards a beautiful garden outside, 

….Then I was brought back on earth by doctors. I was not happy about it… I felt gloomy and apprehensive.

What puzzles me is why is the fear of death so universal, when beyond death lies only peace and greater evolution?

30.10.2017 Maureen Lermer

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A Jouney to myself.. 

To be made real be blended in…

Falling to new lows, entering into places

I did not want to go but endure…

I cannot act my age, but I can live my age

So happy of the knowledge gained through my journey

Reaching out to others to lend a hand and vise versa.. 

Learning to find a home in myself.. and being totally with my total being. A battle I will not choose to loose.. Why on earth should I? When such sweet notes, such amazing melodies, the steps! oh… and my dance has just begun.. 

For the first time I lay back observing the sky.. like in my early childhood.. lost in space  and time.. To become, acceptable to me.. I have walked among the living and death.. So much death among so much living.. 

But that won’t stop the river flowing.. so i take upon this journey as i learn the roles of the river… 

My journey has just begun. 

“If you want to be free get to know your real self. It has no form, no appearance, No root, no basic, no abode, But it’s function cannot be located. Therefore, when you look for it, when you seek it, You turn away from it all the more.  -Linji

Maureen Lermer 24/10/2017